Funf Dreisig AG releases 'must have' X5 accessory!
 

So you spent $50-60,000 on a 2009 X5 only to discover that the economy is so bad that BMW decided save a little money and not to install the cargo bay prop. Don't fret. BMW knows that most X5 owners will never notice. After all, when they call BMW Assist, the tow truck guy probably has a greasy 2x4 rolling around in his tool kit to prop it open anyway.

But now you -- the discerning BMW X5 owner -- can show off your cargo bay tool kit without the lid slamming down on your hands -- again. Be the first on your block to own the latest X5 cargo bay accessory from those fine old world craftsmen at Funf Dreisig AG - the Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies (patent pending).

Funf Dreisig AG spent thousands of seconds engineering and testing the Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies. Funf himself has tested the CBPD, which proves that dummies can use this prop with only minimal training - one week course available for the seriously stupid.

You will be amazed at the precision fit and natural wood grain finish of the standard model. But you don't need to stop there. Funf Dreisig AG also offers a Premium Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies with a polished polyurethane finish that will be the envy of all who see it.*

CALL NOW for our introductory offer - 1-800- GET REAL

Funf Dreisig

* Note: warranty is void if you drive around with your rear hatch open to show off your Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies.

Funny dude!:rofl:

Is there a higher-performance carbon fiber version?

Did you get the shaft with lube, or dry? LOL! I wasn't even offered a spare...


Craig

Funf Dreisig AG has engineers and elves working on new products every day. But we are not at liberty to disclose any details or prices for the 2010 models. Except to say that at least one of the 2010 models will be super light weight, blacker than sin, look really cool* and cost wads of money.

We here at Funf Dreisig AG are sure the 6B model will be a big hit with the Badest Black, Blacker, Blackest BMW Brigade.

Fnf Dreisig

* it will be so cool that when you show it to your significant other, they will roll their eyes in amazement.

... :rofl: ...

is there an extended warranty option?....you know, for "added peace of mind." :wavey:

does it come sanded or do we get to choose from your selection of multi-grit sandpaper as well?

How much is it to buy the OEM hydrolic ram (like a hood shock) that mounts in the front center of the cargo floor? I've worked on a few E70s with that installed and it amkes it sooo nice!

Of course there an Extended Warranty and an Extended Maintenance package too. We here at Funf Dreisig AG haven't owned BMWs for the last 3 decades without learning the best business model to milk cash out of customers. Opps, did I type that out loud?

Funf Dreisg

I noticed that your company is based in Europe (AG.) Will there be a NA subsidiary? Also, will your company make both left-hand & right-hand versions. I noticed in the pic it was only available in right-hand setup's.

Funf Dreisig AG offers an entry level model for the serious DIY enthusiast*. The DIY model Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies is precision cut and shaped to the same exact tolerances of our premium models. It comes with an assortment of multi-grit sand papers to remove any splinters, etc. before you use the specially formulated oils to hand rub your Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies to a climatic errr, dramatic finish!

Funf Dreisig

* AKA those not yet well healed enough to pay wads of money for things they could easy do themselves.

Dang! Like many German companies our leadership group is populated with really nerdy engineers. We desperately need a VP of Marketing to think of stuff like that.

Funf Dreisig

While I appreciate the humour, would it not be an option to just purchase the custom-designed spring-assist strut that BMW install in this vehicle in other markets? (As Weasel suggests, and which other owners seem to have done?) I am sure if BMW NA was able to charge world prices for this vehicle in North America, they would be more likely to fully equip the vehicle with features such as this that they have already designed and sourced. Since they can't, you get a decontented version. You may even have the spring bracket already, from reading the posts above.

Item 5 is a gas pressurized spring, part number 51476980060, $57.09
Item 6 is a spring bracket, part number 51479138212, $10.17

All info from Real OEM.

I see no reason why we should buy this from BMW. It's very clear that BMW see's no reason why to allow us to access our spare/tools in a convienent manner.

Therefore, its up to companies like Funf AG to research & develop alternative methods to combat the superior engineering that BMW has shown in this department. :nanana:

The shorter answer to your comment...yup - much easier. But clearly not as fun as pointing out the stupidity/cost budgeting crisis at BMW. :stickpoke

Funf Dreisg is a funny dude. :thumbup:

My guess is they have a few of those geniuses, all culled from or,
attuned/aTwitter'd to the Biff&Buffy Brigade. That inner sanctum
has brought "innovations" like: no dipstick, a vacuum gauge/mpg gauge
in place of an oil temp/gauge, few diesel picks for the US, PDC, and
assorted other gizmos and "features". Next up, I smell lane change
notification, drowsiness warnings, auto braking, sealed hoods, etc.

Funny stuff, Funf!
BR,mD

If you put the official BMW emblem on it I'dpay an additional 10 bucks:thumbup:

It's a great design, I already see multiple uses for the "device" when it is not propping up the cover ;)

Who is biff&buffy? and why do refer to them in many posts....do you have something against them? :dunno:;)

Funf AG puts us all on by assuming we would fall for something of such utter simplicity. We all know that we are suckers for high technology solutions to simple problems. The German solution would utilize an array of levers, sheaves, cables and proximity sensors along with a prime mover required to left the cover. Safety considerations would of course be paramount in conjunctions with lockouts, i.e. there would be no access to the spare area unless you actually required a spare as dictated by the computer sensed height algorthym being out of skew.

and of course it would be deleted in US versions due to liability issues...

If they put the BMW emblem on it, BMW would want $20 for a licensing fee!

Rational thought is the cumgrudgen of creative minds. We here at Funf Dreisig AG don't let such thoughts enter our pretty little heads while developing innovative cost effective solutions to life's little problems.

Besides some of us are stubborn Germans both in real life and on the net. So the very idea that BMW would leave out a vital part in order to save $67.26 - IOW less than 0.11666% - on the sale of a roughly $60,000 vehicle gets our lederhausen in a twist.

Now that we have put all that time/effort into R&D and testing a very workable solution, I wouldn't even consider buying the OEM strut. Besides it's going to be a constant source of enjoyment for me to show off the Funf Dreisig AG Cargo Bay Prop for Dummies special edition, emblazoned with the BMW slogan - "Saving .11666% was worth making this guy really, really mad".

Funf Dreiisg

Fair enough. At least you didn't call me a curmudgeon. :thumbup:

BTW, what is a cumgrudgen? Must be a neat word, since it achieves the rare distinction of getting a single solitary hit on Google (which hasn't caught up to xoutpost threads of today).

Tim Zagat wrote an article about restaurants where he listed how to tell if a restaurant was trendy. One of the give-aways listed was if "Biff and Buffy are there in their BMW". That article was published in 1990.

It was the golden age of yuppies and DINKs buying BMWs for the associated status, not having a clue what they had, or how to drive it, let alone how to maintain it.

I suspect that MD (and I, and several others) have been using that phrase since then. :thumbup:

See that's the beauty of not allowing rational thought to invade your mind. It gets in the way of making up words that simply sound right :)

Funf Dreisig

p.s. I know I'm not the first to use this term. So I actually did a Google search looking for the correct spelling. But after turning up next to nothing, I decided to go with my gut and phonetics :)

is this must-have item available in space gray?
If so, I want to swap my gas strut for this excellent piece of German Engineering
will ship overseas if needed
:thumbup:

Can I have one smooth and pre-oiled, is there a rubber fitting on the end so that it doesn't put marks on the fabric whilst fitting it in place. ;)

I'm scared to ask what the Quality Control process would be for this one :stickpoke

You need help from this member here -> BMW NA Customer Relations

We all already deal with them in life that we don't need a bunch of curmudgeons over here so here is the definition so that we all can avoid being one;) Curmudgeon Definition | Definition of Curmudgeon at Dictionary.com

Thanks for the link.

Now that we've all (well, some of us anyway) had a little fun at BMW's expense. I need to disclose that my great SA/Dealer has agreed to install the official gas shock and bracket (as posted by JCL) at no expense.

It is amazing what these BMW dealers/SAs will do to get a high rating on deliveries when BMW NA QA dept. calls the customer :)

Funf Dreisig

p.s. Thanks Jeep for the link with the correct spelling.

did your dealer by any chance tell you why the gas strut wasn't there in the first place? Was it 'forgotten' or do US spec cars come without strut anyway?

Short answer: MY CA/dealer does not know why the strut was left off. But they are making it right at no cost to me :)

Long Answer: My CA has been up front about this since he pointed out that it was missing during delivery. I was so interested in other things, that I just let it go by, assuming that the reason was the space saver spare. And as this thread shows I immediately devised a work around and decided to have some fun.

But as time went on I realized that the mount points were there and others with a space saver spare said that they did not interfere with one another.

So I left a message asking my CA to check into it. He quickly returned my call saying that he and the sales manager agreed that they would get the missing parts and install them the next time I was at the dealer.

He went on to say that most of the recent X5's he's seen did not have any way to hold up the cargo bay floor. And that he had no official information as to why. He speculated that there might be a shortage of these parts and the factory simply didn't hold up the build for this minor omission. He said normally when the factory runs short of some minor part they notifiy the dealer to just add it before delivery. But in this case that notification had not happened.

Funf Dreisig

Might be a cost reduction. Even BMW trys to bump profits via cost reduction, and perhaps some wise MBA sold them on the idea that if someone bought the spare, they would only access the compartment when they had a flat tire, so why bother with the lift cylinder (as compared to using it as a storage space when the spare is not ordered).

Just a guess, having gone through a few "cost reduction meetings at another car manufacturer many years ago eary in my career.

While I agree that this is a distinct possibility, it seems especially short sighted. Leaving off parts costing less than $70 retail could lead to even lower JD Power Customer Satisfaction and Consumer Reports ratings than the X5's current middle of the pack status. These ratings influence purchases of whole vehicles. We took them very seriously when comparing the X5 35d to the ML320 BlueTec.

FWIW If my CA/dealer had not agreed to rectify the issue, I would have reported this as a "manufacturing defect/flaw" in my next CR Car Survey.

Funf Dreisig

> Leaving off parts costing less than $70 retail could lead to even lower JD Power Customer Satisfaction and Consumer Reports ratings

I won't argue with you, but I wonder how many people who order the spare even look at it within the timeframe of the JD Power surveys?

FWIW I'm not sure this issue is related to the space saver spare option. My CA says that he has seen X5's without the strut that did NOT have a space saver spare.

Perhaps others who recently took delivery of a BTO X5 could post their experiences with and without the space saver spare.

Funf Dreisig

I just checked my space save spare. I have the strut and it stays up by itself. August '08 build.

Mine = Aug '09 build, no strut. Working with my dealer now to get one installed. Frigging cheapskates. Bad enough they took away the rechargeable flashlight.

Did you get the space saver spare on your BTO?

FWIW the ML320 BlueTec has a seriously cheesy strap attached to the underside of cargo bay floor. Using it requires two hands. One to hold up the floor board and the other to detach it from the floor board and hook it over the upper door jam. The MB salesman just looked a little sheepish when I told him how cheap this was for as $60k vehicle.

Thanks in Advance - Funf Dreisig

Yes; I did add the spare, Funf. I didn't consider the Benz (or any other car besides the X5 for that matter).

That's annoying, especially since the cargo floor is large on the X5. On the X3 and 325i touring, the floor is held up by the plastic clip/hook in the cargo cover handle.

July 7 build, didn't have it, bitched about it, dealer installed it at no charge.

Me too. Dealer tried to make me feel dumb about complaining about it, but I don't think an auto manufacturer should short change some of their customers on a $60K auto. Not an appropriate product to try to chinse out on.

For third row seat X5
 

Does anybody make a shock kit for the small lid on the 3rd row seat models?
I know, it's a small door, but it would serve the same function, and cool factor.