its the tranny, i just switched to Conti DWS and ride is softer and quieter but still jerks
i was worried that tranny was crapping out but after doing some research i found that they all do that.

i'm coming from a manual tranny and now want to go back.

otherwise its an amazing SUV in comparison to others

drove my friends X6 35i and tranny is different a bit softer and less jerky

I've changed my drive pattern to accomodate the jerky transmission. I'm mostly able to avoid most of the jerkiness by slowly accelerating off the line. Either that or I just floor it and take off (which you don't notice the jerkiness as much).

Noticed that the jerkiness is more pronouced with more load in the car. When I'm by myself, the car usually drives fine.

When I do have a lot of people in the car, I use the manual shifter. Then the car drives great.

Sucks that the transmission is bad. Just doesn't make financial sense for me to get rid of the car at this stage.

Perhaps you can have the ECU reset to eliminate any "learned" patterns of the tranny? Doesnt hurt to try at least.

update
 

our X5 fortunately through off a transmission error code so I got to bring the car in one more time to complain about how unsmooth the car drove (not terrible, but not what one would expect from $75,000 vehicle)

so.....it turns out the car has a defective crank position sensor and they updated the transmission software per a 2009 TSB (why the software wasn't updated on one of my other visits where I complained is beyond me!)

Well.......REMARKABLY the transmission is now smooth as silk. The gears change effortlessly and I (and more importantly my wife) are happy!

My fingers are crossed....its been a long time coming

Can you demonstrate the "jerky shifting" to the dealer? If it does it all the time and you can show them how the car responds, they should be able to do something about it. I have the same vehicle and no issues with the transmission. Take it back, make em fix it!

So much for 'they all do that'

Be sure you have ALL the transmission software updates. This helped my '07 X5 4.8i.

The other part of the problem is the run flat tires. They suck, and they're even worse the larger the rim and the wider the tire (I.E. the sport package wheels/tires).

I just took off my 20" Michelin summer run flat tires 315 R/275 F) and installed my 19" 255 f/r run flat winter tires, and even that improves the ride. I can only imagine how cush it would be on 18's with non-run-flat tires and 'normal' rear springs (vs air springs in the sport/third row cars).

How the car is equipped makes a big difference.

All that said, other than the choppy highway ride I like the way it handles the mountain passes... Life is full of trade-offs.