Phil,
In the meantime, take your other key, (assuming it has same settings as your wife's first key), and do the copycat key reprogramming deal as
outlined in this X5 World link:
http://www.xoutpost.com/articles/x5/e...ob-bmw-x5.html
Worth a try to see if the setting is still "there" or, it's your wife's main key as the culprit. I think they goofed something up while they had it or,
a coincidental glitch sneaked in...
GL,mD