If you purchase the premium model it will come with the sunroof. The only way to get the anthracite black headliner is on the SAV model. I had to order the SAV w/M sport package to get those options.
I have bought many new cars and would say get all the options you want and pay the money versus regretting it later. It is not easy or cheap to add things the DIY way on the BMW's as you probably know already.
Also being from CT I would imagine the cold weather package would be a must.
I have attached a PDF which shows the cost saving in MY12 (still applies today) where it is cheaper to upgrade to the premium versus base model X5 for a few thousand more. When you're dropping around 50k a few k more doesn't hurt too bad
