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Old 01-09-2006, 11:05 AM
ZYM ZYM is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: San Diego
Posts: 7
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What I Love About My BMW X5

Contributed by: ZYM

What I love about my BMW X5



“Contained within her stately steel carapace is the raging heart of a demon…”

I love the way I’m still surprised when I pull a U-Turn and it happens faster and smoother than I anticipated.

I love the way my Michelins go SQUEAK as I make that slight turn into my garage.

I love the completely solid “thunk!” each time I close the door. ANY door.

I love every single sound my X5 makes, from the downshifting satan-wail to the soft click of the roundel on the key/remote.

I love the aroma of my BMW leather interior.

I love the fact that my ten-year-old nephew, upon learning that Tony Hawk drives an X5, decided that mine was suddenly every bit as cool as my ’89 Jeep Wrangler.


I love being the first one onto the entrance ramp, dropping it into manual, downshifting, and FLOORING it onto an open stretch of highway.

I love it when the cars in the passing lane see me coming and get out of my way before I have to decelerate.

I love supercruising at 82 mph, and knowing that I have PLENTY of power in reserve.

I love the way my X5 steering wheel gracefully whirs upward out of my way when I turn off the engine, as if to say, “Excuse me, sir.”

I love the way the sunset reflects off the fifth coat of Zaino.

I love the way Gary the BMW service guy ALWAYS thinks of at least one more thing to check than I do and then tells me he’s going to check it.

I love calmly sipping Starbuck’s French Roast at one hundred miles per hour.

I love finding myself next to another X5, and sharing The Grin.

I love the way the temperature gauge reaches 12 o’clock in the short distance from my house to the freeway—like the car had looked me in the eye and nodded, as if to say, “Yes. I am ready.”

I love the way my Xenons twitch up, twitch down, and come to center rest each time I start my X5 up-- like a great, gleaming silver beast blinking the sleep from its eyes.

I love the way my X5 screams past redline and stays there for just a moment before shifting--like it enjoys the pain.


My BMW X5 is the lion that languishes at my feet before my throne.

My BMW X5 is refined.

My BMW X5 is brilliantly designed, absolutely engineered, and precisely
constructed.

My BMW X5 is gorgeous and shiny and sexy.

My BMW X5 is just plain badass.

My BMW X5 serves me, and realizes the perfection of its purpose in doing so.

My BMW X5 is a hot little [Oops!] who goes as hard and fast as I want, as long as I want, and loves me all the more because of it.



THIS IS MY X5. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.

MY X5 IS MY BEST FRIEND. IT IS MY LIFE. I MUST MASTER IT AS I MASTER MY LIFE.

MY X5, WITHOUT ME, IS USELESS. WITHOUT MY X5 I AM USELESS.

I MUST DRIVE MY X5 TRUE. I MUST ACCELERATE FASTER AND CORNER MORE TIGHTLY THAN MY ENEMY WHO IS TRYING TO BEAT ME. I MUST GET THERE BEFORE HE DOES! I WILL! BEFORE GOD I SWEAR THIS CREED: MY X5 AND MYSELF ARE DEFENDERS OF OUR FREEDOM. WE ARE THE MASTERS OF OUR INTERSTATE. WE ARE THE SAVIORS OF MY LIFE. SO BE IT!

UNTIL THERE IS NO MORE TRAFFIC, BUT WINDING, OPEN ROAD!

As you can see--I feel rather passionately about my new toy.

I thought you could relate.

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