M3: if no alarm, then why clown nose?!

[crosvs]

Ugh... I'm rapidly getting VERY annoyed with all the weird electrical inconsistencies with my ne M3.

So if you've read any of my prior posts, I would REALLY like to get some sort of audio/visual cue when I lock/unlock my doors. But BMW of SD that because I don't have an alarm system in my car, there's no way to get such a cue.

However, I just read the following at Bimmerfest:

Q: There is no audio or visual cues when I remotely look my doors if I don't have an alarm. Is there any way to get a visual confirmation or the "clown nose thingy" to blink?
A: Yes. Here's how:
1) Have your dealer hook up the shop computer (MODIC) to the car.
2) Go to the "Anti-Theft" activation section.
3) Activate the alarm, but uncheck the "DWA" option.

After this is done, your corner light should blink once when locked and twice when unlocked remotely. In addition, the clown nose will blink when car is locked just as if an alarm was present.

Contrary to the previous version of the FAQ, there are no permanent fault codes that are generated for the latest E46's (at least for MY2001's and later) by programming this option.

BUT I DO HAVE A FLASHING CLOWN NOSE WHEN I LOCK MY DOORS!!!!

So, why can't the dealers activate the door lock/unlock cues?!?!

What gives?!?!