Battery

[Csaviano]

Good morning. Ok guys this 2001 X5 BMW is about to retire in the nearest junk yard before Ill go crazy.

I am having numerous problems such as a/c not blowing cold air, a/c max button not working, consol lock/ unlock button not working, passenger and rear doors do not lock/unlock however I can hear the actuators clicking, inside lights remain on upon locking the car unless I unlock it then lock it again, fob went dead meaning it won't lock/unlock door/ trunk, front seat warmers not coming on, and probably a few other random issues like:
1) hazard flasher light come on
2) no message/chime when opening the door and leaving keys in the ignition 3) and probably more weird crap that I can't think of now

Last night I made sure everything was off when I locked the car, this morning I cranked the car and she cranked. Turn Ed her off, tried cranking her again five minutes later and guess what! She didn't crank, battery drained. What could be randomly causing the battery to drain within five minutes?

1) All fuses check good in both compartments.
2) Replaced the aux fan and still won't come on
3) I just tried bypassing the low pressure switch and nothing happened
4) I tried re programming the FOB but it didn't work
5) I tried a hard reset by removing both battery cables which the key in position 2/3 but nothing changed

Battery tests ok but it is over 5 years old but keep in mind it doesn't always get drained this quickly.

Other issues that may or may not be related:
1) self level susp message is on although the car is leveled in the back

Any help/suggestion would be greatly appreciated because I