Regarding a possible problem with the IACV, I had created and then fixed a problem with very similar symptoms many years ago on my 2001 3.0i. So in that case, there was no doubt about the cause, effect, and solution. I basically took a car that should run well, cleaned the IACV while I had it out, and that cleaning actually caused a problem by freeing up some gunk, causing the valve to not move freely, giving the very slow driving start. Removing and cleaning the IACV more carefully showed the problem (IACV clearly sticking) and solved it.
Here is a thread (which may be relevant in other ways for you) in which I tell the story with a little more detail, and also is probably more accurate due to being older.
https://xoutpost.com/bmw-sav-forums/...cant-find.html
As far as how smooth and well these cars should drive, I will say that of the dozen or so cars I've owned, this is the absolute smoothest and easiest to drive - pulling away from a stop with smoothness, power, no delay, etc. I bought the car as a first car for all my kids to use, and it was perfect for that - safe, easy to drive, relatively cheap to own/operate/insure.