02 X5 IS Possesed by electrical demons!

[DINANDAN]

I am a newbie so bear with me. I can pull the engine on a 68 olds 442 but can't figure out why my X-5 just developed a life of its own. Started with remote key entry unlocking rear hatch and turning on interior lights but would not unlock doors. The interior unlock switch would not work either. I checked all known fuses and nothing appeared to be blown.

This morning wife took short trip to school and back...and again this no good walk the dog e-bug showed its face again. Battery would not start the engine. A jumper box fired it right up. Here is where it got really wierd. When running after just jump starting....the gas pedal would not accelerate the engine at all. It was like it was not even attached to the engine. Also..the demon apparently has a friend.. I look at the dash and see that the dash indicated that the car is in reverse when clearly it was in park!

After a few moments of the car seemingly at least ideling smoothly...another demon jumped under the hood and decided to adjust my idle speed back and forth...then shut the car down. Just plain wierd!

As a side note and maybe more importantly, I noticed a hard shift when I got the car running at first and drove it about a block before it died out. At least it had throttle unlike before....Now I am letting it charge a bit with cables to old reliable 159,000 mi Jetta. Front signal lights are flashing at me like the car is posessed. I am going to start it after about 20 min and then hook up a charger to the battery.

My question are these..can I charge the battery fine from the front acess terminals? Is there anyone out there that can perform an exorcism on this possessed 2002 X5 is?? Do I call microsoft or do I call BMW and let them rape me....again! I suspect it is a computer sensor or chip or something computer related but all I can do is pull the engine and put in a olds big block 455 in there and rid myself of demons forever! PLEASE HELP ME!

[jst2878]

might be the ignition gone bad or the ecu is fried. do not charge your x through the jumper terminals only from battery itself.

[01 BMW_X5]

Your situation calls for a $tealer exorcism.

[X5_Rob]

I've had many odd demons show up in different cars when either alternator and/or battery was not producing proper voltage. Newer cars with computer brains don't like voltage fluctuations... The fact that you had to jump start could mean the one or both are acting up. Your X may be just fine other then the voltage issue... or you may indeed need to make an offering of cash or credit to your X...

[amacman]

bmw man says you can charge battery ok at jumper terminals

you need a obd2 diagnostics computer to tell of faulty electronics

some people disconnect the battery for 10 minutes to reset some warning lights .
sometimes the ignition switch needs cleaned

[rastaFarai]

Hey - DinanDan - i used to live in Plantation FT Laudy a yr ago. There's a GREAT independent shop that knows his stuff with BMWs. If you don't want to spend the $$ at a dealer.. bring it to him. I usually have a shop that can do my mechanics and another that can do my electric work - this guy did both.

He's off the 595 on the south service road. I'll see if I can get the info for you. I may have posted it before as well...

[RJRDenver]

I had many of your symptoms, which was later diagnosed as a failed alternator. I was amazed to find out that the alternator is water cooled - expensive part, but mine was covered under CPO.

[vinuneuro]

It does sound like a bad alternator as others have pointed out.