Rough Idle

[skeeattle]

2003 x5 4.4 113,000. I know there are lots of threads on this but I cant find any answers.
Can anyone give me a suggestion as to why, at Idle, cold or warmed up I am getting a rough Idle, it is intermittent but mostly rough idle 90% of the time, the RPM gauge is a slight tick above 500rpm while in drive. I put in techron and it seemed to help a little, I also put in some of the bg44k stuff in, didnt seem to help. I cleaned the MAF, no help. I am thinking about replacing the MAF. I Cleaned the Throttle body, it maybe helped a little. Newer plugs and Fuel Filter.
Also, I think this may be related--When I decelerate at higher speeds, the car seems to shake or vibrate upon heavy deceleration, like it is catching up with the transmission and I can feel it more if the road is smoother and level. Fuel injector issue? I am fairly confident it is not the tranny (had 2 shops look at it (BMW and Indy) and they changed the Tranny fluid). Maybe have the transfer case fluid changed?
It also feels a little sluggish and sounds a little loud and (maybe a little whine) under heavier loads. I use premium unleaded only from Costco-I know not the best but not the worst fuel.
I dont want to pay over $100 to have it diagnosed and them replace things it may not be.
If it is vacuum related can anyone point me to Real OEM as to where the vaccum lines are? I cant see that there is a ICV in the 4.4's model year 5/2003? There is no oil separator am I correct?
Oh.. and there are NO CODES.
Any help would be appreciated.