How important is it to use BMW oil in my X5

[Ricky Bobby]

Originally Posted by bcredliner

I think you should know the requirements to be a citizen of the country of Texas:

You must own a huge diesel pickup truck. Color must be black or white, absolutely never gray. Model must be the Texas edition of a non foreign brand. One straight pipe the size of a heat duct is required and it must blow as much black smoke as a oil well fire. It must be at least 4 feet up to the bottom of your door with no indication as to how you get up there. Gigantic tires that sing like a fire truck siren are also a requirement. You must have a contrasting color gun rack that is full and containing at least 1 assault rifle in a desert camo finish and no single shot weapons. There must be a trailer hitch with a chrome cap in the form of a long horn steer,.

There must be at least two window or bumper stickers saying-- out of my cold dead hands, everything is bigger in Texas and always one that reads--elect George Bush.

Driver must wear wrap around sunglasses at all times. Only one hand is allowed on the steering wheel. You must be at least matching the speed of fastest vehicle in sight.

There will be a test of your ability to make tailgating an inadequate description of how close you stay under any condition. There will also be a test to verify you are very capable of randomly changing lanes when there is not enough room.

You must brake later than anyone near you and then not much until the last second. Jack rabbit starts are mandatory and you must then slow down and sneer at the vehicle that was next to you as if you blew their doors off before you meet or exceed the speed of any vehicle in sight as previously mentioned.

You will be required to carry enough loose trash or empty beer cans so that one or the other blows out the back at least once each mile.

Out of country DUIs, arrests for bar fighting, having been sited for violation of either of the two gun laws in Texas, driving with a suspended license will expedite your citizenship.

While not required, if when you apply you have a hunting dog in the cab with its head out the window barking or standing comfortably with its front paws on the side rails of the bed and exhibiting aggressive behavior toward anything that comes near, this extra effort may move you to the back of the shortest line.

a window sticker of the number 3 will also streamline the citizenship process.

An application that includes a registered tea party card or a completed application to same, supplied as part of your citizenship packet, is encouraged.

If you passed any previous written driver's test in less than 3 attempts citizenship will be denied.

Caution- Comments concerning green card availability are taken seriously and you will be indefinitely held into custody by a representative of the kick a#s Texas Rangers.

Note--any applicant that gets all the above right will not be approved so it is prudent to allot adequate time to fail meeting all required criteria for citizenship in similar fashion as per previous drivers license processes, especially the written portion.

Bryan I was literally crying out loud to myself while laughing this morning and reading the first two paragraphs to my wife, I literally couldn't read out loud because I was laughing so hard imagining this!

[bcredliner]

Originally Posted by Ricky Bobby

Bryan I was literally crying out loud to myself while laughing this morning and reading the first two paragraphs to my wife, I literally couldn't read out loud because I was laughing so hard imagining this!

Pleased it gave you a good laugh!

[J.Belknap]

Originally Posted by bcredliner

Your citizenship applications papers have been sent by overnight and certified mail. I have personally included VIP tickets to the Dallas gun show--enjoy!

Hahaha awesome.

[e30cabrio]

Very very good.

I must point out as a resident alien of Az. most of these apply here.

Originally Posted by bcredliner

I think you should know the requirements to be a citizen of the country of Texas:

You must own a huge diesel pickup truck. Color must be black or white, absolutely never gray. Model must be the Texas edition of a non foreign brand. One straight pipe the size of a heat duct is required and it must blow as much black smoke as a oil well fire. It must be at least 4 feet up to the bottom of your door with no indication as to how you get up there. Gigantic tires that sing like a fire truck siren are also a requirement. You must have a contrasting color gun rack that is full and containing at least 1 assault rifle in a desert camo finish and no single shot weapons. There must be a trailer hitch with a chrome cap in the form of a long horn steer,.

There must be at least two window or bumper stickers saying-- out of my cold dead hands, everything is bigger in Texas and always one that reads--elect George Bush.

Driver must wear wrap around sunglasses at all times. Only one hand is allowed on the steering wheel. You must be at least matching the speed of fastest vehicle in sight.

There will be a test of your ability to make tailgating an inadequate description of how close you stay under any condition. There will also be a test to verify you are very capable of randomly changing lanes when there is not enough room.

You must brake later than anyone near you and then not much until the last second. Jack rabbit starts are mandatory and you must then slow down and sneer at the vehicle that was next to you as if you blew their doors off before you meet or exceed the speed of any vehicle in sight as previously mentioned.

You will be required to carry enough loose trash or empty beer cans so that one or the other blows out the back at least once each mile.

Out of country DUIs, arrests for bar fighting, having been sited for violation of either of the two gun laws in Texas, driving with a suspended license will expedite your citizenship.

While not required, if when you apply you have a hunting dog in the cab with its head out the window barking or standing comfortably with its front paws on the side rails of the bed and exhibiting aggressive behavior toward anything that comes near, this extra effort may move you to the back of the shortest line.

a window sticker of the number 3 will also streamline the citizenship process.

An application that includes a registered tea party card or a completed application to same, supplied as part of your citizenship packet, is encouraged.

If you passed any previous written driver's test in less than 3 attempts citizenship will be denied.

Caution- Comments concerning green card availability are taken seriously and you will be indefinitely held into custody by a representative of the kick a#s Texas Rangers.

Note--any applicant that gets all the above right will not be approved so it is prudent to allot adequate time to fail meeting all required criteria for citizenship in similar fashion as per previous drivers license processes, especially the written portion.

[TiAgX5]

Originally Posted by bcredliner

I think you should know the requirements to be a citizen of the country of Texas:

You must own a huge diesel pickup truck. Color must be black or white, absolutely never gray. Model must be the Texas edition of a non foreign brand. One straight pipe the size of a heat duct is required and it must blow as much black smoke as a oil well fire. It must be at least 4 feet up to the bottom of your door with no indication as to how you get up there. Gigantic tires that sing like a fire truck siren are also a requirement. You must have a contrasting color gun rack that is full and containing at least 1 assault rifle in a desert camo finish and no single shot weapons. There must be a trailer hitch with a chrome cap in the form of a long horn steer.....

You forgot to mention amber clearance lights on the roof, and the "bump bar" front bumper to give the appearance you own a large ranch and use the pickup to bump open the swing gates.

Is this a bad time to mention I told the wife a few weeks ago, "If I had to drive a pickup, I would be all over a silver/black Ford Raptor"???

[Riggodeaux]

I have to admit I fall short on some of the Republic of Texas citizenship requirements, though my pre-X5 truck [F350 7.3L diesel 4x4, manual tranny] needed when we hauled horses greater distances, met some of them, and qualified me for OTP ["outside the (Atlanta 285) perimeter"] residence in GA. How Max the Wonderdog and I miss that truck ...

[Riggodeaux]

I have to admit I fall short on some of the Republic of Texas citizenship requirements, though my pre-X5 truck [F350 7.3L diesel 4x4, manual tranny] needed when we hauled horses greater distances, met some of them, and qualified me for OTP ["outside the (Atlanta 285) perimeter"] residence in GA. How Max the Wonderdog and I miss that truck ...

[Moezer]

So since I have warrantee on the x5 should I just get my oil change at the dealer instead of doing it my self until the warrantee runs out?

[bcredliner]

Depends on whether the warranty stipulates oil changes must be done by the dealer--be sure you don't void the warranty if you DIY unless you don't care about the warranty.

[bcredliner]

Originally Posted by TiAgX5

You forgot to mention amber clearance lights on the roof, and the "bump bar" front bumper to give the appearance you own a large ranch and use the pickup to bump open the swing gates.

Is this a bad time to mention I told the wife a few weeks ago, "If I had to drive a pickup, I would be all over a silver/black Ford Raptor"???

Depends on where she is from, or if she is a citizen of Texas.