Electrical issues following jump start

[willyworm*]

2011 35d, fully deleted with JR Tune.

So I messed up the other day and left my parking lights on. Came out at the end of the day to head home and she had some juice left but not quite enough to start her up. Pulled out my cables and texted a buddy for a jump, eventually got her started but not without some drama.

Since then some things are jacked up and I can't seem to pinpoint the root cause. The car thinks the driver's door is open, so it doesn't want to let me drive with the safety feature that's built in. I also do not have controls of the driver's and passenger front windows. Indication points to the driver's door cluster not having power somehow. Power windows are dead as well. I assume the windows, mirrors and door contact are all tied to that cluster.

Furthermore, hazard lights and door lock button are also not functioning. Car is telling me to get service and that there is lighting malfunction. No kidding...

First natural thought was to check fuses... I cannot find a single fuse that's blown. I'm stumped boiz and was hoping the brain trust might have some expert insight to point me in the right direction.