My secret recipe:

Pick up the bird(s) on Monday before Thanksgiving. Clean them that day and marinate.

The marinate:
Take 8 garlic heads per bird and peel. Yes it's a lot of garlic, but well worth the effort. - Put the garlic heads into a blender with some olive oil, sea salt or kosher salt, rosemary, thyme, and blend into a thick paste (smear).

Once you have cleaned the bird with some lemon, smear the bird ALL OVER with the paste, inside the bird, under the skin, inject if you want to but not necessary. There should be garlic smear everywhere. Then take an onion and cut it in half. Stuff the bird with the onion and close it up.

Let sit in the refrigerator from Monday till Thursday, marinating in garlic smear. - Cook in turkey bag, adding small potatoes and shallots into the bag, also put some chicken stock in the bag to keep extra moisture. You can also put some thick cut bacon into the turkey bag, which is fantastic to eat when the bird is cooked and is also great for seasoning the gravy.

See, only us guys in southern Louisiana get the right seasoning and deep fried birds... the northerners and westerners just don't get it! Haven't they heard about the food down here in cajun country?

Weez,
We have, but fortunately we also have indoor plumbing AND kitchens.
:bustingup :p: :bustingup :p: :bustingup :p: :bustingup :p: :bustingup :p: :bustingup :p:

realchef, you should be nailing the turkey blindfolded! After all, aren't you supposed to be a chef?:D :rofl: Or are you?:bustingup

ummm... not gettin the joke? sorry.

I'm with you realchef

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/b...on_281x211.jpg

I suffer from turkey phobia
 

You want to know a secret....I do great holidays, but I have never cooked a turkey. I'm afraid I'm going to screw it up.

Oh, you're saying my Turkey submission is sub-par.;) I gots it now.
:popcorn:
I wasn't trying to impress, just said what it was. I will elaborate a little. It was the single most harmonious holiday dish I've ever had. :p:

It was just a natural bird, I removed all the bones and brined it with mire poix and garniture marmite. (24 hours) Removed it from the brine and left it uncovered a second night to dry the skin.

Rolled and tied it (ballontine, but I did not poach) with the stuffing made of homemade cornbread, turkey and chicken gizzards (marinated and roasted), meat from 2 chick lobsters, (frozen) black truffles (45g), morel mushrooms (picked wild) and sauteed leeks.

Roasted it "au poele" by browning the skin in a sauteuse, removing, sauteeing mire poix, 'deglacer' with white wine, adding fresh thyme, bay leaves etc...roasting it in the pan.

The jus was a hybrid of "l'Americaine' and a traditional gravy. Crushed lobster bodies, seared them with mire poix, fresh tomatoes and garnish, deglacer with brandy/white wine, add fresh thyme, tarragon, reduce. Add heavy cream and reduce. Mixed this with the 'fonds brun' from the turkey bones. Put it through a fine chinois, check the seasoning and to tighten before serving 'monte au beurre'.

The most memorable bird was the first ever cooked on my own. My Fiance and her Father were coming over. I was working at the Rattlesnake Club and learning alot about Mayan/Aztec/Mexican cuisine.

B-Line, you should like this. I hard cured it for 4 hours with the cloves of 3 large garlic heads, achiote paste, citrus rinds, allspice, mace, coriander seeds, crushed Mexican cinnamon and bay leaves. (2/3 went to the cure, 1/3 left or baking) WOW the house was fogged for two hours with the smell of raw garlic. Finally the sweet smell of roasted garlic took over it's intial pungency. Followed by the spices and achiote as it's perfume washed through the house. It was fantastic.

Bird was good, could have been better. It was just too big to hard cure. Should have brined overnight, then rubbed the next day.

^ Now it sounds like something a chef would make!:thumbup: :rofl:

PS. yeah it was rather a subtle joke. I see now that it might've been hard to get it.

Personally, it seems that there are lotsa stories like this. They are always the best ones. It's so cool to here comments like these, "God, dinner was so f'in horrible:sick:;puke; but the wine we drank and the pizza ended up ordering were awesome":drunk:

Thanks to everyone who replied. You are a knowledgable bunch. Never would it have seemed that so many people would know to brine their birds. It's a great sign that our culture is indeed advancing and returning the to the hearth.

Autoque: glad that was better. It only took a minute to get it, soon as the reply was posted, :genius: - duh. Post #38 is a jambalaya recipe from last week. You should try it. http://www.xoutpost.com/lounge/54079-whats-lunch-4.html