Hi guys, first things first. I made this new avatar in the Paint program, what do you think?

Anyways, here are the goods you came for:

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the
repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the
dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you.
But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk
to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following
day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he
has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay
there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his
incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the
repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

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*2010 X5d - Space Gray/Black Nevada/Dark Bamboo|ZPP|ZAP|ZCW|ZTP|ZRC|322|328|386|4NC|4UB|655 |6FL
~Ordered 8/27; Production began 9/28 at 12:20pm; Completed 10/7; Delivered 11/4!~
*2008 535i Black/Black - Dinan Exhaust & S2 Software
*1995 318ti Clubsport - Hellrot Red (autocross/fun car!)
Past: 2005 X3 3.0i; 2009 335xi