Are you Freaking Kidding Me!

blondboinsd · #1 07-11-2006, 11:50 PM

A Northeast Portland man is suing basketball superstar Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. Allen Heckard filed the suit himself, June 29th in Washington County Court. Heckard says hes been mistaken as Michael Jordan nearly every day over the past 15 years and hes tired of it.

I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me, said Heckard.

Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering. Hes suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the most recognized men in the world.

Heckard stands just over six feet tall. He is not six foot six like the real Michael Jordan. But Heckard says many people seem to miss that. He does share a bit of resemblance to the real Michael Jordan. Heckard has a shaved head, an earring in his left ear, and is in good shape from working out, and yes, playing basketball.

Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan), said Heckard."

Most people would consider that a high compliment.

"Yes...dont get me wrong its definitely a positive thing, because Michael, like I say is one of the best ball players that I've known to play the game. But then again, that's Michael and I'm me. So I want to be recognized as me just like Michael's being recognized as Michael."

Dressed in blue Air Jordan tennis shoes, Heckard might seem to be actually trying to look like Jordan but Heckard doesnt see it that way.

"They're very comfortable shoes to play ball in, said Heckard. I play a lot of basketball and any other shoes I try to play in tend to hurt the bottom of my feet."

I got a right to buy Nike or Adidas or what ever, so I chose the Nike because its a good shoe for me to play ball in, he said.

Heckard agreed that not everyone thinks hes a famous basketball player, but insisted a lot of people do mistake him for Jordan.

"I figure if I'm out in public and around a lot of people at least three or four times out of a crowd ...and like I was at the Blues Festival and you could see people they was pointing at me," he said.

Some might wonder how he decided to sue Knight and Jordan for $416-million each. "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to."

The question remains is the occasional confusion with an admired celebrity worth $800 million.

Well, said Heckard, You never can put a value on a person's life. You know you're taking my lifestyle away from me. So you know...we'll let the ball bounce like Michael does...where its supposed to fall."

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statdoc · #2 07-11-2006, 11:55 PM

This is clearly symbolic of what is wrong with our legal system. Lawyers on this board can correct me if I am wrong, but stupidity like this is outrageous to me. Any fool who knows how to file a form can sue anyone for anything. Cause is not required until a few steps down the line. It could actually cost Jordan and Knight significant funds to defend themselves against foolishness. Actually, worse than foolishness, because this is really extortion. The plaintiff likely hopes he will get something as a pay-off to just go away.

benathon · #3 07-12-2006, 12:03 AM

He just wants his 15 minutes of fame... and money.

LVGirl · #4 07-12-2006, 12:12 AM

what a .....

asawadude · #5 07-12-2006, 12:17 AM

I think he needs to be suing Tony Delk.

Tony Delk of your Detroit Pistons

LVGirl · #6 07-12-2006, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asawadude

I think he needs to be suing Tony Delk.

Tony Delk of your Detroit Pistons

hmmm .... that's him? he wishes he looks like MJ ........

Quicksilver · #7 07-12-2006, 12:37 AM

Don't blame the legal system when a person decides to be an idiot. And no your not wrong. Thats exactly my point "stupidity like this is outrageous" No bout a doubt it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by statdoc

This is clearly symbolic of what is wrong with our legal system. Lawyers on this board can correct me if I am wrong, but stupidity like this is outrageous to me.

PersonaNonGrata · #8 07-12-2006, 02:13 AM

Welcome to last Freaky Friday.

Again, nobody reads the articles in Playboy either.

http://www.xoutpost.com/lounge/17391-freaky-friday.html

Quote:

I heard about a ridiculous lawsuit. This guy is suing Michael Jordan and Nike for $800,000,000. (Yup, count the zeros.) He is representing himself so at least it's not like a lawyer came up with this. Basically he claims that he looks like MJ and because of it he's constantly harrassed and it has affected his lifestyle. Lifestyle??? What "lifestyle" is he talking about? Is it the lifestyle where he doesn't have fame, fortune, and the love and admiration of many? The lifestyle that enables him to work at the 7-11 for minimum wage? The lifestyle where the ladies don't give him the time of day? Oh yes, all that has been irrepairably harmed. If I were him I'd be milking it for free drinks, free Chicago style pizza at Numero Uno, scamming tail at every club I could find, I'd even try to get a free Bentley. "I'm Michael Jordan. Gimme a Bentley and I'll pose for a picture." I'm sure that this guy is just trying to get some money to go away. I think he should get something. Perhaps a pair of Air Jordan shoes... planted firmly up his pooper.