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#1
09-06-2006, 11:44 AM
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No sex since 1955!
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature." "The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming: "WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!" 2007 M6 2018 Chevy 2500HD Diesel Alaskan Edition 2011 X5 35d 1972 Chevy K20 4X4 1972 Ford F-600 1959 Chevy Viking 60 Dump Truck 2015 CanAm Outlander XT 1000 
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#3
09-06-2006, 01:27 PM
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Lol I read that joke in this months Maxim
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"To become a member of a crew you've got to be 100% Italian so they can trace all your relatives back to the old country. See, it's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and crew. It means that nobody can f@ck around with you. It also means you could f@ck around with anybody just as long as they aren't also a member. It's like a license to steal. It's a license to do anything"
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#5
09-06-2006, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
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  Current: 2016 X6 ///M Black Sapphire Metallic
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#6
09-06-2006, 01:52 PM
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Oh god hes just getting gayer and gayer by the day, pretty soon he'll be Chestie Larue! LOL Lam is a great guy, just too easy sometimes *grin*
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The Present: 2014 Audi Q5 TDI Prestige The Past: 2013 Lexus GS350 2013 VW Golf TDI 2007 BMW X5 4.8i LOADED & Loved 2009 VW Jetta 2008 VW Touareg VR6 2005 BMW X5 3.0i 2005 BMW Z4 3.0i 2004 BMW X5 3.0i 2003 BMW 325i 2000 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer 4x4
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#7
09-06-2006, 01:56 PM
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You all suck, I didn't get it from Maxim, it was sent to me in an email this morning.
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming: "WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!" 2007 M6 2018 Chevy 2500HD Diesel Alaskan Edition 2011 X5 35d 1972 Chevy K20 4X4 1972 Ford F-600 1959 Chevy Viking 60 Dump Truck 2015 CanAm Outlander XT 1000
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#9
09-06-2006, 03:05 PM
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Lam, I thought for a min you were doing
another confessionial post...I quickly recalled there was no way you were even a gleam, in '55.
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Ol'UncleMotor From the Home Base of Pro Bono Punditry and 50 Cent Opins... Our Mtn Scenes, Car Pics, and Road Trip Pics on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/4527537...7627297418250/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/4527537...7627332480833/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/45275375@N00/ My X Page 
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#10
09-06-2006, 03:20 PM
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very good
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