I think it's done more so as a way to avoid responsibililty in making a decision or giving a definite answer. "Do you want to buy this car?" "I have to check with THE wife." It's like telling the other person that she has the absolute last word in making a decision w/o having to explain it. Saying "MY" wife is personal, and you give the impression that both of you make the decision. It's a way to say no to someone without actually saying it. At least that's how I see it and use it.

I say "My Wife" as an endearing term, when I say “The Wife” I am usually having to tell my single friends I can’t do something.

I can assure you, the words "the" or "my" have never preceded the word BF in my vocabulary either.

As to "Wife", it's like being called by your middle name by your parents. As in, if "my" wife does something to make me mad, she becomes "the" wife for a spell, until it passes, at which time she becomes "my" wife again.

I can tell you this much - "the" beats the heck out of the pet name she uses for me when I make her mad.

never said "the husband" just does not sound right.

normally only say "my husband" to people I don't know i.e. will have to check with my husband before I place a order

other than that I call him by his name Allan

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“Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?”

That's because you probably wouldn't get into as much trouble with him if you didn't check with him as opposed to if he didn't check with you on ordering something. I'm with the cleaner in that I use "the" fiancee when I can't do something with my single friends. It's along the lines of why we call the woman in our lives the CEO. They have the final word, which takes the decision out of our hands.

I live in L.A. and I hear it all the time, especially in the office. Yes, it does make the reference to whomever less personal. It's similar to saying "my other half" or "significant other" instead of my spouse or GF or BF. But do I read anything into it? Nope. To me, it's a meaningless colloquialism.

ah good, finally some interesting responses!!

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MARC/CROSVS | UCLA Bruin, B.A. Econ, Aug 2004 | J.D., Thomas Jefferson School of Law, May 2008 -- MEMBER: California State Bar, December 4, 2008

2005 BMW 645 Cabrio | Black Sapphire Metallic, Ti trim | 6AT | fully loaded sans HUD

2000 Ford Mustang V6 | laser red on tan | 5-spd | track-prepped

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T

Nope

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Harmony happens whenever different parts get to form a whole by means of congruity, concord, symetry, consistency, conformity, correspondence, agreement, accord, unity, consonance…….