Happy Friday everyone and welcome to summer. It was summer solstice yesterday and it was a lovely 112 degrees F where I live. Yes, I live on the surface of the sun. At least that's how it feels sometimes. It's a wonder that cars don't melt in the heat. I could barely touch the steering wheel after parking my sweet Ford Taurus workmobile in the sun for an hour. You've got to be careful not to touch any metal in the car or you could suffer a burn. Seriously, it's that hot. It's strange how people can cope with that kind of heat. 112 is kind of extreme but we manage to function in it somehow. We get used to it I guess. You just move a little slower, try to stay inside as much as possible, and drink lots of water. I do know how ants feel like under a magnifying glass.

We all drive the various roads and highways wherever we live and that means we all have the "pleasure" of dealing with other drivers. There are so many things to irritate us and there are many people out there who have no business operating a motor vehicle. We could go on and on for days about horror stories but we don't have that kind of time. Help is here though. This past week, The Vatican released the 10 commandments of driving. The document is entitled "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road". The full document is here for your enlightenment enjoyment. (Vatican's website) Here are the 10 Commandments in simplified form:

1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.

The full document is very lengthy and has a great deal of the philosophy, psychology, and spirituality behind the 10 Commandments. It's very complex! They embody some very nice ideals and if everyone abided by them our roads would be a very pleasant place to "commune" but alas, people being people and thus being imperfect and highly fallible, we can only dream of such conditions. Perhaps the roads in heaven are such places but then again, I doubt there is a need for automotive transport there.

As much as it would be nice if all 10 Commandments were followed I would be happy if just a few basic things were followed. I will now present my 10 Commandments of the Road. Some of them aren't so much as commandments as just my pet peeves. The are in no particular order of severity. I'm sure there are more and better ones but I'm shooting from the hip here at 1:20 am. Hey, this is my piece so I can do it.

1. On freeways, those choosing to drive at or less than the posted speed limit shall not occupy the number one "fast lane".

I have noticed that more and more, people are ignorant or inconsiderate of the "fast lane" rule. Posted signs directing slower traffic to move right do not seem to help. There are so many drivers who sit in the fast lane going slower than the flow of traffic with no cars in front of them for miles. This kills me!

2. Small animals are not allowed to ride in a driver's lap while operating a motor vehicle.

How many people have seen other drivers, the elderly in particular, driving with a toy breed dog on their lap, or worse, in their face? This is not only annoying but it's dangerous. I've seen so many drivers with a Pomeranian or some such overgrown rat of a canine in their faces and in front of the steering wheel. Obviously this impair vision and control. It is quite simply very dangerous. They think it's so cute their Fluffy likes to go for car rides but it's putting others at risk.

3. It is not necessary to commence braking a block away from the red light ahead.

You know you've been behind someone doing this and it pisses you off too. :p

4. Driving with a "gangsta lean" is moronic and should not be done.

Sure it's cool and all, not, but I hate when people try so hard to look "gangsta" and recline their seat back to the point that they are perfectly positioned for a nap. Those who do it look like asses and it is dangerous. All they can see is the headliner instead of traffic they will inevitably hit while being occupied with looking like a douche.

5. Jacked up trucks with giant "mudder" tires were cool when you were a 10 year old boy but it's time to grow up.

I admit that when I was a kid I liked and wanted a truck that was lifted with big ol' tires; not quite "Big Foot" but close. Luckily I grew out of it but unfortunately many boys have not. I see so many super lifted F250's and other trucks. They are lifted so high that it is a climb to get in. They are so high that a small child could walk under the truck. And there in lies one of the dangers of these trucks. They sit so high that the driver would not be able to see shorter pedestrians and kids, so high that if they hit another vehicle the occupants of that other vehicle would be decapitated. These trucks are nothing more than tributes to the owner's, ahem, small problems. Most of these trucks never see dirt either. They are pointless.

6. The pretty blinky lights on your car were put there for a reason: Use them but don't abuse them.

I am not psychic so I have to rely on turn signal indicators to let me know when someone is planning to turn. I know, it's my issue. They are there for a reason and if your driving action is going to affect other drivers a signal should be used. On the other hand, driver's should not use them impromperly and indicate a turn by signaling 5 blocks before the desired turn. Infuriating!

7. When making a turn, one should stay in one's lane and not wander into other lanes.

It seems that people have forgotten how to turn a steering wheel more than a few degrees because many people will make a right or left turn and swing widely into the farthest lane away from their direction of travel. I especially like when the inside car of a two lane left turn will drift over into the outside turn lane and into the lane occupied by another car. I guess exerting any effort to turn a steering wheel is too much to ask for.

8. When another driver signals to change lanes, one should not speed up to block them for that makes you a major jackhole.

Again, we've all been there. You signal to make a lane change, you have enough space and time to make the lane change but some idiot feels personally insulted that you should dare get in front of them so they speed up to block you. Is road rage ever justified? This is perhaps good cause.

9. While driving, one should drive and not apply makeup, check yourself out in the mirror, tie your necktie, balance your checkbook, make a sandwich, etc, etc.

I once saw a guy driving down the freeway with a newspaper spread out on his steering wheel. Genuis well-informed driver or total jackass? Hmmm. The stories abound, I'm sure, each one more incredible than the next.

10. Put your damn cellphone away and just drive!

Needless to say, this is a hot topic. There have been studies that conclude that driving while talking on a cellphone is no worse than talking to a passenger. Do those studies consider that one hand is taken away to hold the phone instead of the steering wheel? I see so many people talking on cellphones with their head cocked to one side, hand and phone plastered against their head, unable to react quickly or see properly. It's common sense that it creates a risk. Would it be okay if the driver is using a headset of some kind? I think it does help to use a Bluetooth or wired headset. While the distraction is still there, at least the hands and head are free to attend to driving.

Funny news:

Beware of sex in strange places!

This one is just weird. :eek:

This guy should have had PDC on his car.

Do not challenge this woman to a drinking contest.

Forget the Prius, BMW is bringing back the steam engine.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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