Wow! Is it Friday already? They just seem to sneak up on me and here we are getting ready for another weekend. These summer weeks go by in a bit of a blur because everyday is so dang hot. It has cooled down a little for me but that means a "cooling" from 117 degrees to 109. At a certain point it just doesn't matter what the number is, it's just plain hot. I hope the weather where you are is more bearable.

There was a thread recently here in The Lounge about children on airplanes and the discussion got into child rearing. There was the suggestion that one who does not have children should not judge those who do. Well, I'm going to do that and I will state up front that I do not have children. I do however, feel I have some good thoughts and I hope you agree.

I recently was involved with what could have been a very dangerous situation. A young man was believed to be "tagging" (vandalizing) at his school. The police officer on campus contacted him and while patting him down found a fully loaded .45ACP pistol in the young man's waistband. (That is amazing in itself since it was a boat anchor of a gun and the kid was wearing baggy Dickies.) The young man was promptly arrested. This is all during school hours and on campus where hundreds of other kids were attending summer school. His story was that the gun is his father's and that he took it for protection from some guys who were mad at him. The "some guys" happen to be gang members. Obviously these circumstances are a recipe for someone getting shot and our worst fear would be that it happens at the school and innocent bystanders are hurt or killed. I have no doubt that this kid would have started shooting if he was confronted. He wasn't armed at school to do a Columbine or Virginia Tech shooting but he posed just as great a risk. This kid not only endangered himself but every other person around him at that school.

We came to learn that this young man is also in a gang although he denied it, every indication was there. We contacted his parents and went to his house and went through his room. We found many indicators of gang membership and extensive evidence of drug use; specifically methamphetamine and marijuana. We also checked for other firearms and there were others. We confirmed also that he took the gun from a locked box where his father kept it. Too bad the father left the key to the lock accessible. Frighteningly, one gun is missing and we suspect very strongly that the kid gave it to a "homie" or sold it/traded it for drugs. I would not be surprised if that gun is used in a robbery or homicide someday. The home was modest but very tidy and well kept. Mom, Dad, kid, and two sisters live in the house. Being small is relevant because there was not many places for a kid to hide. We also found some older report cards that showed he had straight A's. Needless to say, as of late his grades are at the other end of the spectrum.

What puzzled me, as it usually does, is how these parents didn't see the red flags. I might be accused of stereotyping but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a friggin' duck. In this case the duck is a gang member. Sure, sure, they live in the barrio and kids dress like that because it's cool but this kid has "the look". It kills me that the parents will buy whatever their kid wants and if it happens to be gang-style clothing they still buy it. The parents didn't notice the cans of spray paint he had in his bedroom. They didn't take any action when the kid put a padlock on his backpack within which he had a full load of drug paraphernalia. The parents didn't seem to notice the gang related writings in his room either nor did they seem concerned with the empty beer bottles. They never questioned why their son had pieces of scorched aluminum foil in his room. (A popular and easy way to smoke methamphetamine.) His grades deteriorating so much and so quickly should also have been a sign. Now that they failed to address those issues their son is in serious trouble. Luckily for them and for him, he was caught before he actually used the gun or else they could kiss their son goodbye forever.

The parents seemed "normal" enough and living in a very small space they failed to recognize any of the red flags. Maybe they did but failed to take action. I don't really know. I do know though, that the vast majority of bad situations with kids started small and get bigger in the absence of intervention. Too many parents either outright ignore their duty to intervene or on the other side of things, they do too much to protect their kids. Parents try too hard to be a friend when what kids need is a parent and authority figure. Parent also give their kids too much freedom and respect. So many parents are afraid to go in their kids' rooms and/or search their stuff but that is something parents should not be afraid to do. If the kid lives under your roof and unless the kid is the one paying the mortgage, you have every right to go through your kid's rooms. There are too many people who think that you have to be gentle with kids and treat them like they're miniature adults, giving them full rights and privileges as adults but that is not is such a mistake. Of course you nurture and respect your children but you're not supposed to treat them like grown ups. Failing to be a parent is the primary cause of kids getting off track. Kids need discipline, structure, and they need to have boundaries that they know not to cross or else there will be consequences. It goes without saying that too many people are procreating without the requisite parenting abilities, apart from the simple act of contributing a sperm, and egg, and 2 minutes of fornication. Perhaps these parents were not involved with their son and left him to live his life unchecked and without rules. In this case, the parents left the boy to his own devices and ignored all the signs, perhaps dismissing them as "boys will be boys" or "not our son". If they had taken even 5 minutes to go through his room they would have found so much cause for concern. Hell, even looking at how he dressed and who he was hanging out with should be a huge tipoff. They didn't do anything and now their son is locked up. If they had been more involved and more attentive they could have prevented this. If only they had been paying attention....

Yes, I don't have kids. For now my wife and I are sticking to pets. We have a cat and we love him to pieces. It's disgusting. We will be getting a new temporary pet this weekend. We will be dogsitting a 9 month old male Rottweiler. We'll have him for a couple of weeks barring any major issues with the cat. We're worried about that but the plan is to keep them separated and luckily the dog is crate trained and can spend time in his crate so the cat can roam his kingdom. When the sun is going down the dog will have the yard so he'll get his running room. Luckily we've been watching lots of Cesar Millan, "The Dog Whisperer". I know, I know. I used to think he's a kook but he actually makes so much sense and 90% of what he does is train people. It's the neurotic and weak owners that make neurotic, insecure, and problem dogs. It seems simple when you consider that people give off an energy and vibe that dogs, and other people, can pick up on and if they are insecure people they will convey that to the dog and all hell breaks loose. It's like the parenting stuff I wrote about. Some basic things are all that are really needed to do a good job. A great job requires more but just doing some simple, sensible, and consistent things will create a healthy dog, or child. Anyway, I'll post some pics of the guy. He's cute as heck and a pussycat but growing fast. He's about 90 pounds already!

Speaking of dogs, check out this video of a dog owning a Tour de France cyclist. Ouch!

Awesome police work! "I think this is a clue!"

P.T. Barnum was right, there's one born every minute and boy are they thirsty.

More proof that forced sterilization is a good idea.

I found a renter for my closet.

This gives new meaning to "toothache".

Braintree, Massachusetts fire department will henceforth be known as the Brainless Fire Department.

Somebody is going to get great positive feedback on eBay.

Dog tries to become world's first K-9 ATM. :p

Have a great weekend everyone!

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