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Old 03-07-2008, 09:55 AM
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My Russian "Mail order Bride" story so far...

If any men out there are looking for an idea on Russian Girls read this...

I live in the far reaches of Northern Wisconsin in Bayfield County. My county is the 2nd largest in the state by square miles and we have NO traffic lights so that'll give you an idea of how secluded this area is. Our population density is right about 10 people per square mile. This area does not draw people in for work etc. For example, our black population is 0.2% of our population and latino is 0.9 %.

I've had girlfriends in the past 5 years after my divorce 7 years ago. But, it is IMPOSSIBLE to find a woman with no baggage in this area so eventually I had to settle or be alone. By baggage I mean young children, bad habits (smoking/drinking heavy), irrational ex's etc. My last girlfriend was a wonderful, beautiful, athletic woman but with 3 kids ages 3, 6 & 9. It was just too much with the kids and her ex and all the challenges along with that. I had decided I will never date a woman with young children again and the chances of finding that in this area are slim to none. Then imagine this; even if I found the perfect girl in the Minneapolis area for example, why would they move here with no prospect of a job within 40 miles? I know you're now thinking "why not just move"? I live on a beautiful wilderness lake where the water is so clear I can see the bottom 20 feet down. Outside my office window I see eagles soaring every day. I can leave my home unlocked 24/7 and the keys in my X all the time. It's so quiet here I swear I can HEAR the northern lights. Until you've lived or even visited a place like this you couldn't understand. The next time you're stuck in traffic stressed to the bone imagine living like this every day! That's why I don't move. Now, how do I find a girl that could enjoy this with me???

One day this past November I went online to research the Russian women sites and try to learn as much as I could. After reading many blogs and accounts of other experiences and with good knowledge going in I chose a site called "Elenas Models". Out of the dozens of stories I read concerning this site every one was positive with little or no accounts of scamming etc. I joined the site, did my profile, wrote my desires and began searching for my possible mate. When I first looked through the pictures it was amazing how beautiful and educated these women were! I'm thinking there's no way these women are this beautiful. After finding a few girls I thought were compatible I sent some "Expression of Interest" (E.O.I.) messages. This is just a canned "feeler" sent to the girl to see if she may be interested too. I got a return interest from one girl in Ukraine and after writing a few letters found out she was too much of a city girl and not too motivated with a non-city lifestyle. I realized there may be a problem here as it's the big cities that advertise for the girls to post their profiles and to find a western man. Let me explain the motivation for the girls to even consider doing this also;

Here are some excerpts from a article written by a Russian girl after she married a western man. She wrote this article because of all the misconceptions on this subject.


Mail order brides' myth #1:



Women who chose to become mail order brides do it to escape economical misery.



Most women who decide to look for husbands abroad do it NOT because they want an automatic washing machine and hamburgers. Those things are available to people in their societies also. Truly harsh conditions no longer exist in large cities where the majority of Internet mail order brides reside. Think about it, some people in your society also live in trailers! The myth about economical misery is as good as your knowledge of those societies. Over the last decade, the world has changed dramatically and life conditions have not only improved in your country. Since the invention of the World Wide Web, technology has rapidly expanded across the globe. It is only in smaller regional towns that you can find conditions that are typically shown in Hollywood movies
about Russia and Asia. As you know, people residing in small towns in your country have a different standard of living than people in the big cities, although the gap in foreign countries may be larger. Regarding Russians, in general, Russian people do not consider their life miserable. In fact, they are proud to be Russians! You might think that a beautiful, slender, physically fit, educated and intelligent woman cannot possibly have problems with male admirers and you would be right: attractive women in Russia do get many dating offers from Russian men. But those men are seeking only casual sex. They are either already married, unwilling to
commit, or they are not worthy of marriage because they cannot provide for a family. Since it is a part of Russian culture, all Russian women want children in their marriages (unless they are physically unable). So, Russian women seek men who will be able to support their family while they are unable to work during the child caring years. Most women in Russia will take full care of their children through age three. This tradition was inherited from the Soviet times when their work position was preserved for 3 years after childbirth, with fully paid maternity leave for 18 months and unpaid leave for an additional 18 months. Nowadays, maternity leave is not paid, but women believe it is proper to stay home with their baby while it is small, and seek men who are able to provide for their families.
Russian people marry early -- by the age of 22 more than 50% of people are already married. By the age of 25 about 80% of people are married. Since there are less men than women in Russia (10 million more women of marriageable ages than men, according to the latest census), and even less men who are worthy, the competition for eligible men is extremely harsh. As a result, the men become spoiled and
promiscuous. As one Russian woman expressed it in an online forum:















"There are of course good Russian men that are able to provide for their families and do not sleep around, but they all are incurably married, once out of diapers".








It might be hard to believe but a normal man who has a stable job (being able to solely provide for his family), is career and health conscious, and willing to commit, seems like a fairy tale prince to a single Russian woman. Guys like this are scarce in Russia and not available for long. In contrast, good-looking women are in abundance in Russia, since the tough competition drives women to perfect their looks. Historically, during the 20th century, Russia has had many wars, with World War II alone taking 20 million lives, along with another 20 million people dying in Stalin's concentration camps. Nearly 90% of those victims were men. After the war, simply having a man was a blessing. Then there was the 14-year Afghani conflict, in which hundreds of thousands of young Russian men died. Throughout the entire 20th century Russian women had to compete to ensure they had a husband. Now they've got Chechnya - since 1993, just a few years after Russian troops left Afghanistan. It is scientifically proven that where there are many more women in society than men, men tend to pursue short-term sexual strategies and are unwilling to commit. Along with other cultural moments, such as traditions of hard drinking and male chauvinism in Russia, it is no wonder that contemporary Russian women seize the opportunities offered by modern technologies and elect to broaden their horizons in their search for a suitable mate.








Russian women do not seek men abroad because they want to get out of Russia or because they search a better life. Just because you live in a country with higher life standards, it does not necessarily mean that it is your country that will make you attractive to Russian women. Russian women are getting married to men from Bulgaria, Hungary, Philippines, and many other countries where life standards are similar to Russia.
The truth is, Russian women seek abroad for marriage because there is a huge demographic discrepancy between the number of men and women. There are only 88 men for every 100 women in Russia and slightly less in the Ukraine. With this imbalance, if ladies only seek locally, some women would be destined to be single for life. But with the invention of and ACCESS to the Internet, they have hope. They can seek globally where there is not such an imbalance. And they DO seek a partner, NOT the country.
Russian women appear happy to be women. They dress femininely and elegantly, and are extremely fashion conscious. You will never, and I mean NEVER, meet in Russia a woman in baggy shorts, formless T-shirt and running shoes walking on a street or in a supermarket.
This sexy appearance is nothing special in Russia. Women there enjoy looking sexy and it does not mean the woman is "easy" or low-class. They just enjoy looking their best! And here's my personnal favoriteRussian women have lady-like manners. They are soft-spoken and polite. They enjoy men's attention, and do not consider it sexist. A Russian woman enjoys being treated like a lady. (try finding that in Northern Wisconsin!)
In Russia, the cultural values of a woman are to get married and take care of home and children. She will most likely continue working to contribute to family budget but the vast majority of Russian women will be happy to sacrifice their careers to get married to the right man. This is why they are ready to leave their careers, their family and their friends behind and marry a foreign man - NOT because they are desperate to get out of Russia. An unmarried woman in Russia cannot be considered successful. She will feel less successful than any of her married friends with children.
Marriage is very, very important for Russian women - make no mistake about it. In some sense, marriage is a Russian women's career.
Russian women seek to be considered as equals and to be respected. They have had enough of male chauvinism in Russia and the respectful position of western men towards women is one of the things why Russian women favor western men. Even though Russian women seek equal partnership, they don't believe in equal roles for men and women. They believe that men and women are equal but different. A man should be the family's provider and protector; the woman should "keep the home fire burning". These are the roles of a man and a woman in the family that Russian women will be happy with.
Russian women like men that are assertive. They don't want men that are unsure what to do next or prefer their women to make choices for them. They want men who know what they want and how to get it. They would prefer to have only one option ("Dear, I booked dinner at Marriott at 7 tonight, is it OK?") than having too many options to choose from ("Dear, where and when would you like to go out?"). If you meet in a city new to both of you, she will expect YOU to find out about the sights and suggest a plan for the day, tomorrow, etc. (Don't worry; if she has something particular in mind, she will let you know!) Russian women believe that woman's expertise is "kitchen, children and creating home coziness" - the rest is up to you, The Man. (Sounds perfect huh guys???)





There, hopefully now the "mail-order bride" misconception is no longer.

Back to my story;
After giving up on the first girl It took a few weeks to find someone who would be more compatible. Her name was Anastasia and she specified that she like nature in her profile so I sent her an "E.O.I.". She sent an EOI back and I spent alot of time composing the letter that I sent and eventually we started a sharing of letters for 3 weeks. I learned she was from Syktyvkar which is a city 1200 Km NORTH of Moscow. Yes, even further north than Moscow. Her town is at a latitude further north than Anchorage. This gave me hope that if she came from a town that far north there a good chance she won't mind cold weather! She did tell me she does not like hot weather or big cities and loves nature. Perfect! After that 3 weeks of sharing letters I went to Moscow and spent a week with her and it went absolutely perfect! We only spent a week together but we spent every minute together after the first day and the chemistry was perfect. We both have the same expectations and are very compatible so we are both very optimistic. We will be together again in 3 weeks and will spend a week together in either Germany or Ukraine depending on her visa application results. She needs a visa to Germany but not to Ukraine and we'll know soon. I've been to Germany many times but only to Ukraine once so I'm hoping for Ukraine. The Carpathian Mountains in Western Ukraine are awesome.

She is excited to have a place like my home to raise children. A safe and quiet place with no threat of drugs, crime, and other dangers that cities have. She knows the job situation near my home and that is not an issue. She has degrees in accounting & tourism management so if she decides to work eventually she will be able to find something in Duluth MN which is about a 40 min drive. Especially since tourism is our primary attraction up here. Right now in Moscow she works with a company that caters to high-end adventuure tours in Russia like Polar Bear photo safaris, Ural mountain climbing and arctic expeditions.

Early next week I will be sending in the package to begin the "fiancee visa" process for her to come to America for 90 days. If there are any attorneys that may read this please give me a shout as I have one question I would like to ask in regards to this visa process. Once she arrives we will have 90 days to get married or she has to return. Once she's here we will live together for around 60 days to see if yes we are sure we want to spend the rest of our lives together and then commit to marriage. She is everything I've looked for; No kids, beautiful, athletic, educated, sincere, healthy, and everything else that the article describes Russian Women to be.

I'll keep you all posted on how everything goes. I'll post a picture of her but my camera was stolen out of our Moscow hotel room and I lost our best pictures of us.

If any of you guys are considering doing this you should. If you have questions let me know & I'll be happy to call you and give you the scoop on anything you want to know.

Have a great weekend all!
Dean
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Last edited by Lambeau; 04-06-2008 at 02:09 PM.
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:09 AM
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She's a very beautiful woman! Congrats, Lam!
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:20 AM
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Very pretty lady. All the best to you both.
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:27 AM
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Good luck Lam
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:33 AM
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Thanks you guys! When I was over there she saw pictures of my X on my computer and she wants to drive it. She's never driven before so she'll be driving the 318ic for a while first. I got the manual transmission in my X though just so any future women in my life wouldn't want to drive it!!! I guess I might as well order a new clutch now!
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:46 AM
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Congrats. Just a word of advise though: be careful!

My ex-girlfriend Sofia (a few X5 members met her last year) is from Russia and as people of most groups, she tends to have other friends that are also Russian. While she came to the US with her family when she was very young, several of her Russian friends came here as mail-order brides. In each and every case, when the required number of years had passed, they left their husbands. She tells me that the mail-order bride programs are just a way for them to get into the United States legally and have someone else pay for it, but that none of them had any intention of staying with the person that they married.

But of course every woman is different, and I'm sure there are plenty that stay married as well. Just be careful though. I hope it works out for you!
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lambeau
I got the manual transmission in my X though just so any future women in my life wouldn't want to drive it!!!
Me too. It works like a charm!

They always ask "can I drive it?", and then I ask "can you drive stick?", to which they respond "oh".
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:52 AM
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What a great story! Best of luck to you
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric5273
Me too. It works like a charm!

They always ask "can I drive it?", and then I ask "can you drive stick?", to which they respond "oh".
Yeah, maybe back in the 60's more women could drive a stick (or now in europe for that matter) but not any more!
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming: "WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!"

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2018 Chevy 2500HD Diesel Alaskan Edition
2011 X5 35d
1972 Chevy K20 4X4
1972 Ford F-600
1959 Chevy Viking 60 Dump Truck
2015 CanAm Outlander XT 1000

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Old 03-07-2008, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric5273
Congrats. Just a word of advise though: be careful!

But of course every woman is different, and I'm sure there are plenty that stay married as well. Just be careful though. I hope it works out for you!
I have also heard stories where they left after getting the green card legal time limit requirement which is probably 1-2 years.

Good luck, Lam.
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