Men Are Just Simpler and Happier People!


NICKNAMES
If Laura, Adrianne and Bobbie go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Adrianne and Bobbie.
If John, Dave and Jim go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Big J, Goliath and Fatdog.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, John, Dave and Jim will each throw in $20.00, even though the total is only $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FROM ALL THIS
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

__________________
/ / / Michelle
Administrator, Moderator, and Premier Member

My Bimmer Garage
2018 F15 X5 35i M Sport (Sept 2020 to May 2026)
2012 E70 X5 35d (Aug 2015 to Sept 2020)
2008 E70 X5 3.0si (Aug 2011 to Aug 2015)
2001 E53 X5 4.4i (May 2005 to May 2012)

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Rest In Peace SuperGreg <3