MD and I are aware of this. The rest of you need to wake up

[Quicksilver]

Due to the current financial situation caused by slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a program to put workers 60 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

The scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selecting to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will also qualify under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Now, persons who have been RAPED can also get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much S&*# (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. (Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of S&*$ they give our citizens.) Should you feel that you do not receive enough S#$^, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the S#$@ you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)


PS: Please accept our apologies, but unfortunately, due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the L.E.T. Program (Light at the End of the Tunnel) has been turned off.

[SANguru]

that's old news!

[LeMansX5]

very old...

[Quicksilver]

Keep living and old news will be new news for you.....

Originally Posted by SANguru

that's old news!

[Quicksilver]

Same news that applies to SANguru applies to you....
(Notice the poetic tone).......

Originally Posted by LeMansX5

very old...

[LeMansX5]

Happy new year! big guy.
Don't take it personally.
Its probably new here but I have read this or a different version of this several times before....these are going around for over 10 years, all the way to Clinton's time.

Some links
The RAPE program and bennies
Tier 5 Unemployment Extension - Topix
RAPED, SHAFTED and SCREWED by the Government (Limbaugh, unemployment, Congress) - Politics and Other Controversies -Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Conservatives, Liberals, Third Parties, Left-Wing, Right-Wing, Congress, President - City-Data F
RETIRE AGED PEOPLE EARLY (R.A.P.E.) - Jokes! Jokes! Jokes! - Cruiser Customizing Message Board - shared passion. individual style.


An older version:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our programme of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see our manager. You will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you will get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMMES (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITIDUE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interest in job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.) Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you.

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTESSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

[Weasel]

If I haven't seen it, it's new to me!

[Quicksilver]

LeMansX5;

Take it personally? No Way. Just thought I would poke
some fun at the expense of me and MD about the
perceived reality of getting older and how you youngins
are gonna have your turn

Never read the others but especially would I not have
seen the one you just posted. My toleration level for bad
language is about ZERO.

Thanks for the salutation. "PEACE"

[motordavid]

Originally Posted by SANguru

that's old news!

Since QwkAg & I have probably read those before, but forgotten them due to gradual onset of CRS, it is 'new' to him & me!
And, he is older than I am...
BR, mD

[Quicksilver]

MD ....... Actually not. Never seen em. I usually throw that kind of
stuff in the trash. Someone I know thought I should check it out.
That's the only reason I read it.