ANDREW WILKOW'S GUIDE TO MEDIA PERCEPTION

[lakai]

If you have spent time in Washington:

Conservative - You are part of the problem.
Liberal - You have experience.

If you don’t have time in Washington:

Conservative - You have no experience.
Liberal - You represent change.

If you have wealth:

Conservative - You are greedy and a cheat who had advantages in life.
Liberal - You are successful and your life story is an inspiration.

If you don’t have wealth:

Conservative - You are low class.
Liberal - You are disadvantaged.

If you went to college:

Conservative - Your academic pedigree is scrutinized.
Liberal - Your degree speaks for itself.

If you didn’t go to college:

Conservative - You are un-educated.
Liberal - You are an artist/activist.

If you own a business:

Conservative - You are a profiteer.
Liberal - You provide jobs to the community.

If you are working class:

Conservative - You’re just a (insert job title or trade).
Liberal - You are a proletariat who finds strength in numbers.

If you believe in the wisdom of the constitution:

Conservative - You are narrow minded.
Liberal - You are a civil libertarian.

If you believe in individual freedoms:

Conservative - You have made peace with inequality.
Liberal - You are for choice.

If you take to the streets to voice your opinions:

Conservative - You are a thug.
Liberal - You are a demonstrator.

If you are religious:

Conservative - You are a fundamentalist.
Liberal - You are spiritual.

If you are serving in the military:

Conservative - You are a mindless killer.
Liberal - You wear the uniform of your country.

If you are popular:

Conservative - You have blind sheep followers.
Liberal - You are leading a movement.

If you are attractive:

Conservative - You are shallow and empty.
Liberal - You are stunning and a trend setter.

If you are un-attractive:

Conservative - You are just ugly.
Liberal - You are too intellectual to be concerned with your appearance.

If you enjoy an outdoors lifestyle:

Conservative - You are a hick.
Liberal - You are earthy.