..oh snap..
 

"The nuclear test conducted in our nation this time is the Earth's 2,054th nuclear test. The five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council have conducted 99.99 percent of the total nuclear tests."

PolitiFact | North Korea contends that the five permanent members of the UN Security Council have conducted 99.99 percent of all nuclear tests

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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North Korea announced it had conducted a second under-ground nuclear test .
Well , either it`s a nuclear test or Kim Jong-il has done the whole country a favour and installed under floor heating .
Next it plans to carry out tests above ground .
Unfortunately , the ground it plans on carrying out the tests above is called South Korea .
The two Korean states declared an end to war in the Fifties , but now North Korea is starting production of plutonium .
Seemingly , their plan is to source a fleet of DeLoreans so they can take the whole army back to 1953 to finish the job off properly .
The West is pretty much powerless to do anything about North Korea because unlike Iraq , their weapons of mass destruction actually exist .
Official biographers of Kim Jong-il claim that his birth was foretold by a swallow , and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow over the mountain and a new star in the heavens . Either it was his birth or the beggining of the Teletubbies .
In my forthcoming official biography , you`ll learn that my birth was foretold by the appearance of a half bottle of vodka and a pair of legs over the dashboard .
I dont want to be a scaremonger but , a few weeks ago , every newspaper had at least four pages per day on Swine Flu panic when only eight people had the virus in this country .
North Korea has threatened nuclear war and yet , in most papers , the most you`ll hear about it is in a fun wordsearch puzzle on page 34 .
Can you find the words Kim Jong-il , radiation poisoning and armageddon ?
Kim Jong-il has claimed that any sanctions against North Korea would be like " throwing a rotten egg at a rock " .
Which is actually one of Heston Blumenthal`s nuclear holocaust recipes alongside " tenderising a dog with a brick " and " making your dead neighbour into nuggets with a shovel " .
North Korea has few computers , almost no internet access outside the capital Pyongyang and teaches students about the web by showing them photocopied papers of monitor displays . Amazing really , but still too technical for many of the students at The University of the Highlands and Islands .
They have the skull of a ram with the letters www scrawled into it with a sharp stick .
I love the idea of teaching the internet using bits of paper . I`m guessing they do e-mail with an envelope .
And Facebook ? Pretty sure that`s going to be a book with a face drawn on it .