Easy diagnostics for any Indy BMW shop. Try Gary @Martin Motorsports over on Eisenhower AVE. Great guy good shop. BMW gear head who owns more than one of these.

Don't jump off the bridge yet. Let someone who is familiar with BMW V8 take a look and see what is actually going on.

That much of anything on the ground is not good. Unless you are going to DIY just have it towed to a well recommended independent shop that specializes in BMWs for an estimate. Don't start it for any reason.

Pictures can be misleading but it appears there is coolant in the oil. Mayo tends to be more solidified in nature. While PCV as the cause is a good guess, there are several other possibilities. The good thing is that you shut it off right away.

The head gaskets are fine and I'll check the coolant, but I thought I read on another thread here that the engine has to be warm to check the actual oil level?

Looking at it in retrospect, it lost maybe a quart, all at once. The car isn't dripping.

I probably shouldn't run it for twenty minutes just for that....

You can check the oil cold, it may be a bit low, but again, hard to tell how much oil made it out of the engine and how much is left.

As warm as it is now, I might be inclined to start the engine, check for leaks and if no leaks, let it warm up a bit.

But the oil had to have come from somewhere, I do not know the V8 CCV system, but for oil to have come out something would have had to froze and split or cracked unless there was pressure built up and it sprayed out the top of the dipstick tube or blew out a valve cover gasket.

Do you have an idea where is came from?

The car absolutely will not be started again. I don't know much, but I'm pretty certain that most of what I do know is wrong.

But I do know that right now electricity + starter = epic failure.

I need to crawl under and look. Barring my own idiocy (a possibility) absolutely nothing that I can see from the top, in well-lit conditions, sprayed anything, anywhere. I couldn't see anything like that, and I couldn't find anything like that reaching down and feeling around.

Remove the plastic pipe that connects the air flow meter to the throttle body. It is two hose clamps and two small hoses. You can even leave the hoses attached and just move it slightly to the side.

Then, Push the throttle body flapper open with your finger or a screwdriver and look inside the intake with a flashlight.
Do you see puddles of oil? All dry? Spike (The evil gremlin)?

Basically, I want to loosen number 4, push it aside, and look into where I have the big red arrow?

http://i.imgur.com/kA4yQFu.jpg

Does Spike bite? If so, I will be sure to use a screwdriver to look inside.

Thanks, David.

Thanks BCR.

While I would LOVE to do it myself, I would be relegated to handing someone else tools and and watching/learning intently.

I loved working on my '74 2002 with the ol' Bentley manual, but even then, If I could see gears or thingys inside the engine, that was beyond my ability. I can use tools, I just don't have the experience unless there was a step by step video. If something didn't match the video, I don't have the expertise and judgment to be confident.

Oh BOY would the first key turn after that experience be terrifying. :yikes:

Yes, and the second hose clamp is between #3 and #6 in your picture. Keep the screwdriver nearby to stab spike if he gets frisky.

It's a straight line to peer into the intake on the 4.4 once you have the flap pushed up. Looks like it's not so straight on the 4.6. Good luck.