could this not possibly be a bad DME relay? are anybof the other relays in the electrical box identical such that he could swap out one for testing purposes?

If I knew which one it was I wouldn’t mind switching it

that's easy enough to figure out. you need to put your year and model number in your sig though. plenty of folks here can tell you exactly where to find it.

Does the dme always have a 12v supply even with key off?

I've made some assumptions here, best you look with your VIN or build date, but it's a starting point.... pardon the pun. (newtis.info)

I’m not the best at understanding diagrams. What are your assumptions? If it starts and I shut it back off it doesn’t do the fuel pump running problem. It’s very confusing.

Well from tonight’s findings. The dme relay is working properly. If you pull the relay the fuel pump and throttle body quit making noise. Plugging it back in kicks them on. IF you pull the plug out of the ecu and plug it back in. They both stop and will not act up again until the car will not start. SO something IS sending a signal to the dme relay while the car is off. Unplugging the power side and replugging STOPS whatever is causing the issue. I did this then pulled the dme relay back out to see if it would click. It did not. Still at a loss.

EDIT: after a little more research. Could this intermittent issue be a bad IVM?

It's worth looking at the IVM.

Can’t seem to find it.

I don't think 3.0 has one but the equivalent even if just wires. It feels like a bad connection is the problem here.

Have you checked into the ingniton switch? If the part that engages the fuel pump never shuts off that could be the problem. Check the different "T" values and make sure they change as they are supposed to.