- Attached is the fuse box near the windshield area. Random Pic from the web (2001 X5).

- One of the relays is stuck "ON".
So, when you are dealing with this problem, open the fuse box and work by the process of elimination, i.e., remove one relay at a time until the engine shuts off.

- Or search the internet for E53 wiring diagram.



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That blue relay gives power to engine ECU. Removing that will shut engine but a failed DME relay would not explain any of the other symptoms.

I've got some time today to dig around. Still think it's the FSU to start with? Or does this sounds like something else?

Sometimes when you turn the key to start the car, it doesn't crank, but the door locks lock and unlock twice. Turn the key off, turn it back on, and it starts.

This is starting to sound like I have to put my foil hat on so that my own X5 doesn't get the same contamination via internet. :(

No such luck working on it so far. I hit the remote unlock and nothing. It's dead. Manually unlock it and it's dead. Whatever was happening must have happened when I wasn't around and it drained the battery until dead. I can't get to the battery because the car is all locked and I can't get the hatch open to get the battery out. I guess I'll jump it to get that unlocked and then see what it goes from there. I do have the ignition switch out, inspected the wires and connectors. I see no breaks in any of the 7 ignition wires, all terminals going into the plug appear to be tight and there are no signs of corrosion in any of the female connectors on the harness.

If you have a tow hitch you can back feed battery voltage from the trailer hitch. Some use for battery maintenance. If your lock Cylinder won't turn 90° to manually unlock you need to take apart your lock cylinder and likely rebuild it.

If doors are double locked you cannot jimmy your way in as the inner handles are all disconnected.

I think you have a hot to switched short somewhere and if your ign switch is not in the car it's not that.

I jumped it, got everything unlocked, and put the old ignition switch back in. It started fine, when I turned it off, the car cut off and it worked as normal. I'll work on finding the short now. I'm probing around the fuse box now, looking for the short, how do I trick it into thinking the door is shut? Is that in the mechanism on the door? I'm seeing current draw on some fuses but they are probably linked to things that are on when the door is open. I don't see a plunger or button anywhere so I assume it's in the mechanism in the edge of the door that grabs the rod to latch it when it's closed?

Yes, the microswitch is in the door latch itself. The door lock actuator assembly, to be more specific. With the door open, use a screwdriver to simulate the striker bar that the latch would normally latch on. Do that and the car will (should) think the door is closed. When all done, put the screwdriver back in, put some tension on it toward the car, then pull the inside or outside door handle and the latch will open, letting the screwdriver come through.

BTW, fascinating thread. Hope you get a good solution soon.

Here's what I have done. I unhooked the negative terminal off the battery. I opened the fuse panel and put my meter on millivolts and started probing.

I thought I was looking for 0 Mv on everything but I'm getting some with .1-.2 Mv. Is that acceptable? At what level should I know there's an issue? .3? .4? Over 1 Mv?

I'm not an electrical guy so please be patient with my questions!