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-   -   The story of "Swamp Thing" (https://xoutpost.com/bmw-sav-forums/x5-e53-forum/112449-story-swamp-thing.html)

Purplefade 11-14-2020 06:29 PM

Ahhhh and he went on to “pencil” it on everything else because of extreme paranoia, that actually makes total sense [emoji106]

I actually remember those! We had places around here that would actually mask and “sandblast” that in to the glass! Yep [emoji106]


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Happy 11-14-2020 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c-bass (Post 1194768)
$10 says it's this product and propaganda that swayed the original owner.

See the letter and number stencils. You put that on the glass, spread the etching paste and now your car will never be stolen :rolleyes:

I remember seeing all the infomercials when I was a kid. It was one of those super duper need to have if you're a car owner type products, like Slick50.

https://i.imgur.com/2h0NTru.jpg


Hey! Good thing! Because, when Swampy is all cleaned up, he/she will be a diamond again! [emoji6]

c-bass 11-20-2020 02:30 PM

Update...

EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES

GODDAM BRAKE LINE SEIZED EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES

EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES


EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES SET THIS GODDAM CAR ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Purplefade 11-20-2020 03:51 PM

ROFL!! So.... tell us how you really feel [emoji12]


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crystalworks 11-20-2020 05:39 PM

LoL! Can't wait till the next update to see what new damage the previous owner's neglect caused that has been discovered.

Happy 11-20-2020 11:53 PM

SWaMP-Ehhhh.... DiD’nT I say,! PLaY NiCE!

Effduration 11-21-2020 10:17 AM

Also interested in hearing about your brake lines, But it can't be THAT bad...replace the rubber/steel lines at ea wheel, and if the steel lines underneath are rotted out (likely) replace it all with Ni-Copp lines and a decent quality bubble flaring tool.

c-bass 11-21-2020 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Effduration (Post 1195075)
Also interested in hearing about your brake lines, But it can't be THAT bad...replace the rubber/steel lines at ea wheel, and if the steel lines underneath are rotted out (likely) replace it all with Ni-Copp lines and a decent quality bubble flaring tool.

HhahahahahahaHahah

"replace the rubber/steel lines" You have to get them off first!!!!

If you've been following our journey you might have noticed a little extra rust here and there on Swampy

bcredliner 11-21-2020 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c-bass (Post 1195055)
Update...

EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES

GODDAM BRAKE LINE SEIZED EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES

EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES


EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES EXPLETIVES SET THIS GODDAM CAR ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXPLETIVE!!!

c-bass 11-21-2020 02:57 PM

Update...

This last week has been a pain in the ass!! The fleet is turning on me, I don't know if they're all upset about the weather just like a I am but 3 out of 4 vehicles are acting like...well...typical BMWs actually, so nothing to be surprised about and EXACTLY the reason I have backups.

I'm getting ready to put away the convertible and was getting the wagon ready and putting in new spark plugs seems to have made it angry and have a really time starting when cold.

I had someone interested in buying the roof rack off the e83 I'm parting out and the back crossbar came out without a big fight...but the front seems to have stripped out and turning the allen screw doesn't move anything. So now that's stuck on there :rolleyes: if anyone knows what the hell to do about that feel free to chime in.

and now back to our regularly scheduled program:


Narrator: When we last left off our hero was battling the evil forces of CORROSION...DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!


https://i.imgur.com/fZaOEta.jpg


The usual routine of soaking in PB Blaster didn't help AT ALL to loosen the fitting and the last thing I want to do is strip out the nut and have to deal with replacing the hard line so easy does it...but how does one do it easy when the solution is clearly brute force???

Wise grips fail, adjustable wrench fail, this fail! that fail! everywhere a fail! fail!!!!

I had flare nut wrenches for stubborn brake lines. I had a 10mm and a 12mm...guess which one I need for the job :rolleyes:

So it was time to....BRING OUT THE GIMP!!! I mean HEAT!! BRING OUT THE HEAT!!!

BUT WAIT??? Where the hell is the nozzle??? Of course it's at the house that I'm NOT working at...so instead of buying a nozzle I'll wait a couple days when we need to go to the country house.

Narrator: Our hero knew in the back of his head that finding this nozzle at the country house was not going to be an easy task as the last time he could remember using it was that really cold winter a couple years ago when the water lines froze. The weather has been unusually nice these last few days but instead of taking advantage of it...I guess we'll wait? Ooooookay :dunno:



Several days go by and finally I make it out to the country house. By now it's back to seasonal temperatures and today it just happens to start blowing some serious wind and snowing. After several solid hours of searching all over the place and just as I was going to give up, the nozzle appears from underneath a pile of rags. SCORE!!!!

Oh wait...did I mention there was 2 propane nozzle options at the house. One was the good one and the other was essentially a giant lighter. No torch...just a flame. Remind me again why I kept that one?? Right...cause I was gonna fix it one of these days....IDIOT!

So guess what? We're back to having to buy a propane nozzle! Exactly what I opted out of doing in the first place :banghead:

Amazon Prime to the rescue! "If you order within the next 1hour and 23 minutes you will receive this item tomorrow" Ok, tomorrow it is Amazon.

Shortly after placing order - Amazon: "Ooohhhh did we say tomorrow?? Yeah, sorry we meant 2 days. You'll get your item Thursday"

:rant::rant::rant::rant::rant:


Let's get Lit!!!!


https://i.imgur.com/pqBHnFu.jpg


A little bit of heat did nothing...

More heat started burning off all the PB Blaster, which then caught fire and suddenly we had a little situation to deal with. PRO TIP: Try to remember you're holding a lit propane torch with your left hand as you're using your right hand to deal with the current...situation :wow:

Now that the fire was out...well I guess we do it all over again right?

More heat...nothing

MORE HEAT

We already established that I didn't have the correct 11mm flare nut wrench, but I did have a regular ol' wrench from this "fancy" new kit I bought recently.

MOOOOOORE HEEEEEEEEAAAAATT

I'm putting enough force on this 11mm wrench that I'm noticing the jaw start opening/deforming getting ready to strip and ruin life as we know it. I know we really want a flare nut wrench on there, but COME ON!! The heat should have more than made up for it no?? NO???

At this point I'm getting SUPER frustrated (Hulk want to smash) came close to setting Swampy on fire twice and losing daylight quickly. I start going over the usual emotional roller coaster: Why did I decided to do this myself?? What in the hell appeals to me about wrenching on my own cars?? Why does the world hate me one seized fastener at a time? WAAAHHH WAAAAAAHH WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Now I've learned from experience over the years (read: making things worse) to walk away and regroup. Seeing as I was alone at the house I didn't have anyone to bitch to so I went for a walk.

On the way back I'm trying to decide if I'm calling it a day or if I should drive to get a "better" wrench which will be at least an hour round trip aka night time. I'm heavily leaning on calling it a night but as I'm approaching the house I see my neighbor washing his car.

"Hey man, what are the odds you have an 11mm flare nut wrench??" I ask.

He goes rooting through his toolbox and produces an 11mm box wrench, same brand and looks the same as the one I have...or does it???


https://i.imgur.com/Z7Kcgz9.jpg


My wrench is on the left side and his on the right. Both made by mastercraft but his is definitely a different generation of tool and also has the word "professional" clearly letting me know I'm obviously an amateur.

You'll notice in the jaw area in particular there is quite a bit more meat and since we're now in the PRO leagues well...ahh screw it let's give it one last try no?

MOOOOOOORE FIYAH!!!!!!!!!!! (and a pro wrench)

This time around I grabbed a couple of roofing shingles that blew off in a recent wind storm and placed them as a fire protectant right between the fitting and the plastic vent tube thing right above and let 'er rip.

Next thing you know...the roofing shingles are on fire and I'm doing the slap dance to put that fire out. PRO TIP: DON'T USE ROOFING SHINGLES!!! It's paper coated in tar. Tar burns. Funny how quickly the science comes back to me riiiiight after I do some stupid shit :D

Also...as you're stomping out the burning shingles, you will learn the hot tar sticks to your shoe or the driveway.

In all the excitement I almost forgot about the fitting which has been cooling off slowly, right let's give that a try with the PRO wrench and DUMMY!!! Make sure you don't strip anything!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD

BAM!!!! IT LET GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRO TIP: Just because you're all excited doesn't mean the fitting magically cooled off in the last 3 seconds...so don't touch it! Just saying. And no I didn't get burned, as soon as I heard the rubber coating on my gloves start to sizzle I let go :D

So one side let go...do I push my luck and try the other side????

Narrator: Will our hero go double or nothing and try the other side? Will there be as much unexpected fire as the first side?? Stay tuned to our next exciting episode and watch from the safety of your screen as....THE FIRE RETURNS!!! DUUN DUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUNN!!!!!!!!


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