I hear ya brother.. Be sure to drive the bimmer on some of the days though, you don't want to let her sit too long with out starting her up and driving her around for a bit. Otherwise you might experience some other problem because it had been sittting too long..

Man, whatever would posess BMW to make such a complicated, hard to get to design for a PCV valve? Nuts.

All of my other cars, It's always been easy to get to, and the valve costs a whopping $3 or $4 at Walmart or Autozone. Why not make a more simple, easy to service design, even if it required more frequent replacement...?

A PCV doesn't separate out the oil mist, it just vents. The crankcase ventilation valve includes a separator to keep that mist out of the intake.

Well, as far as I can tell, the X5 system separates oil and drops liquids back down, and lighter blowby goes into the distribution piece where it is added to every chamber for recombustion. I emphasize this because every domestic PCV system I have ever seen does this part only in theory, but if you pull the intake manifold(s) you will find only 2 or 4 (depending on number of cyls) cylinders actually get oily and dark from this practice. Therfore, one can only conclude that the X5 system applies the recombutibles to every cylinder so they go less lean over time, have less variance in A/F ratios across cylinders and therefore are easier to accurately control for performance purposes.

Not sure about what years are worst, but BMW has issued 3 SIB's on the issue so far to cover the 3 main engines M54, M62, N62/62TU, which are present in a lot more models then just the X5.

That is true, but only for the M62 engine. The M54 and N62/62TU updates do not have any wraps and are completely different fixes.