obd2 scanner/programmer

[Hickles]

hi all first post,
just purchased my first bmw,

had the car 1 week and the propshaft sheared and took the sump with it
lucky me.
luckily it was covered under the warranty i got.

car is a e53 3.0d 2004

im having a little problem in reading from the obd2
ive had a search through the forum and google.


i have checked the fuses, all are fine
its a 2004 so it doesn't have the 20 pin connector under the hood
the obd port has power to it.
ive tried different scanners (3 different ones) none of them would connect.

do i have to have a special scanner/programmer to connect to it just to read codes?

what would people recommend?
is there a program that i can use to have a play with things in the modules?



many thanks