Connecting an IPhone 7+ on IOS 11.4.1 to a 2011 X5 30d M Sport

[Nick1975]

Hi, does anyone know how to connect the above successfully for either telephone calls of music streaming?
When trying to set up I get as far as setting a passcode and accepting it on the phone, it then asks for me to allow contacts to be synced and then I just get the swirl symbol and it doesn't complete. once I have done that I can accept calls via the steering wheel but can only make calls from the phone (and then talk through the car).
As for streaming music, connecting via lightning cable in the arm rest wont work, just get the swirl symbol, aux will work with lightning converter but it will not connect via bluetooth.

any ideas guys?