ill take a look. they are about 15mins from me

I suggest eliminating that it is a brake pad or sway bar link or or sway bar bushing that is squeaking.

The similar rear suspension parts, upper front and rear control arms, have about the same life as the front suspension and won't take as many labor hours. My experience is that the rear subframe bushing don't necessarily wear out on the same schedule as the rest of the suspension. It depends on how hard the vehicle was driven, how bad the roads were, if there was any off road journeys etc. Problem with rear subframe bushings is that they can look fine but still be bad when you take it apart. If they are really bad you may be able to tell by removing the bolt that goes through the bushing. The center of the bushing may come out with the bolt. You can do one side at time. Some will say to deflate the air suspension but I have checked the bushings without doing so. I have pulled bushings that had around 105,000 miles that were fine.

"Both rear bushings" doesn't work for me.
There are like 10 bushings in the rear suspension plus the subframe and rear differential mount bushings

Figure out which bushings and then you could get quotes from other shops for comparison

they told me the rear bent/bend arm bushings, i said "what the arms are bent in the back" he said no that's what they call it. the bums couldn't even give me a written estimate

whatever bushing it is, its casuing my rear wheels to have left and right play

The upper rear control arms have a bend in them and are part of a rear suspension rebuild as are the rear ball joints. The rear control arms are called just that by BMW. Side to side sway, the feeling the vehicle is steering itself is a symptom of bad subframe bushings. If the subframe bushings are bad it is a good time to do the rest of the rear suspension so you won't have to pay some of the labor hours twice and pay for two alignments. You can see examples of the most common wear parts are Bavauto in the rear suspension category.

the car drives straight as an arrow. when the car is on the lift and you grab the wheel it wiggles left to right

Wheel or wheels

i personally noticed 3 of 4 wheels

If you are seeing in and out movement on wheels it is time to rebuild the front and rear suspension. How many miles since any suspension work was done on the front and the rear?